Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?
A Collection of respnoses

From: DLU::MOOREBK "Cool temperatures due to TVA energy manditory reduction"     7-FEB-1996 12:25
To:     @chick40
CC:
Subj: Why the chicken crossed the road.

It has been over three weeks since I asked the "why did the chicken cross the road" question. I have finally put together all of your responses and printed them below. I would like to do this again in a couple of weeks. If you have any suggestions of what I could ask next, please reply.

Here they are:



From: DLU: :DODSONJL         "What's Up Doc?" 16-JAN-1996 08:45

!! "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Cause KFC was on his side!



From: DLU::PANDITSJ        "PANDIT SHANTA JEAN"  16-JAN-1996 08:50

answer:to run away from albert thweatt!
(i know he'll read this)



From: DLU::SULLIVANME    "happy day!"     16-JAN-1996 08:51

1. to lay it on the line.
2. he wanted to take his show on the road.
3. he wanted to bump into some friends.
4. he was feeling run down.
5. he wanted to be a grilled chicken.



From: DLU::BATESML1     "B"     16-JAN-1996 10:07

to avoid the blind pedestrian in his wheelchair on the sidewalk!



From: DLU::POLIDORPV     "Number One Marriott Food Critic"     16-JAN-1996 11:07

the chicken crossed the road so marriott could serve us chicken patties.



From: DLU::SIMSSM    "SIMS STACI MARIE"     16-JAN-1996 11:55

to get his PSL (permananent seat license) for the NFL



From: DLU::CHOATEEP     "On her magesty's secret service"     16-JAN-1996 11:58

the chichen was chased by the bully who tried to take his lunch money.



From: IN%"wild@blown-rat.hotrod.com .... wild"     16-JAN-1996 12:11

>             "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

So he could be first on-(the middle)-line to be in Microsoft BOB.



FROM   DLU::SIMONSAM     "SIMONS ADRIENNE MARILYNN"     16-JAN-1996 12:40

           BECAUSE IT FELT THE URGE TO DO SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MARILYNN



From: DLU::BELLARJS    "BELLAR JENNIFER SUSANNE"     16-JAN-1996 14:23

sorry i don't have an answer to your question but i will try harder next time.
bellar



From: DLU::SULLIVANCS    "SULLIVAN CHERIE SUZANNE"     16-JAN-1996 16:00

      Brent, a reply to the "why did the chicken cross the road?" was because :
      There were not any cars coming.

            Cherie'



From: IN%"hall_j@FHU.EDU"     16-JAN-1996 16:44

        In response to your survey: Why did the chicken cross the road?

        To look at any being's response to environmental stimuli, one must first consider a few things. In this instance a chicken is the subject of the aforementioned question. To look beyond the stereotypical answer of "to get to the other side" is to look at the underlying life-situations in which the bird may have been involved in at the time. We must look at what the chicken may have witnessed or been predisposed to before the moment in time where we find our foul friend. What brought the chicken to have to make this decision of whether or not to venture onto the expressway? Perhaps he had been physically, mentally, or pshycologically abused as a young chick? If so, then it is not the one making this decision which now so ominously looms in front of the poultry. You see, if that were the case, then this chicken is not in control of its body. Due to strain from stress and the duress of repressing and suppressing that abused inner chick, it has no responsibility for its own actions and reactions or its future effects on the society in which it lives or will live. In light of these points, the question of "Why did the chicken cross the road" cannot be answered by the traditional means of looking at reasons of what it wanted to do on the other side. For it is not he, who is deciding.



From: DLU::BREWERJA    "paradox--two physicians, illegal--sick bird"     16-JAN-1996

Socrates:     "Was there a road? a chicken? Ask yourself why."
Plato:        "To participate in the Form of road crossing."
Sartre:'      "To come to grips with the reality of his worthlessness."
Marx:         "To join the other chickens in the farce of worldly perfection."
Dean Davis:   "To emulate the president set by said fowl's predecessors."



From: DLU::THWEATTAA      "ALBERT THWEATT, JR."   17-JAN-1996 09:53
Hey Brent,
              Why did the chicken cross the road?

because Joseph Pandit was chasing it with a fork in one hand and a knife in the other.

see ya,
Albert
p.s. There is no need for me to remain anonymous. I can take the big man's punishment!!



From: DLU::CUMMINGSCL1 "Loxosceles reclusa!"     20-JAN-1996 00:29

The chicken crossed the road to:
get back to the coop.
escape his death.
to show the possuim it could be done.
it was drunk or deranged
to see what was on the other side
get to the chickens of the opposite sex



From: DLU::BOWERSOCGG    "BOWERSOCK GREGORY GENE"     23-JAN-1996 16:41

Because his wife told him to! (ie. he was HEN-PECKED)



From: DLU::FOREHANDCH    "Princess Christina"  7-FEB-1996 09:15

Hi! So I'm the last one to send you the answer to your question. Oh well, they save the best for last. My answer to why the chicken crossed the road is that he wondered what it would be like to be road kill. Too bad he made it.


THE END