To: Subj: HOLIDAYS OF MAR 10 - 16 For those of you who are off-campus, you may not know that this is DLU spring break week. There will be no list next week. HERE ARE THE HOLIDAYS OF MARCH 10 - 16: SUN MAR 10:Japanese Army Commemoration Day Korean Labor Day MON MAR 11:Johnny Appleseed Day TUE MAR 12:Fireside Chat Anniversary Day Girl Scout Day Mauritius Day St. Gregory Anniversary of the Death of Sun Yat-Sen (China) Moshoeshoe's Day (Lesotho) WED MAR 13:Liberian Decoration Day FRI MAR 15:Andrew Jackson Day Anniversary of the Bloodless Revolution (Hungary) J.J.Roberts Birthday (Liberia) Buzzards Day SAT MAR 16:Feast of Spring (Lithuania) SUN MAR 17:St. Patrick's Day Evacuation Day Eire Day World Maritime Day Campfire Founder's Day MON MAR 18:Sheelah's Day TUE MAR 19:St. Joseph Swallow's Day WED MAR 20:National Agriculture Day Tunesia Independence Day Canberra Day (Australia) THR MAR 21:Memory Day Fragrance Day Iran New Year The Smelling of the Spring (Egypt) Agriculture Day International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination FRI MAR 22:Abolition Day Arab League Day National Tree Planting Day (Lesotho) SAR MAR 23:World Meteorological Day Anniversary of the Founding of Fascism (Italy) ****************************************************************************** THIS WEEK'S TRIVIA QUESTION: What was the powder used by America's Founding Fathers to keep their wigs white? LAST WEEK'S TRIVIA: How many miles of nerves are there in the adult human body ANSWER: 45 WINNER:Matthew McInteer - 7 miles ****************************************************************************** TOP TEN NEW NICKNAMES FOR THE HOUSTON OILERS (As supplied by members of this mailing list) 10: Tennessee Eulers (Eric Choate) 9: Nashville Gas (Alan Roberts) 8: Nashville Nimrods (Chris Crowder) 7: Fighting Elvii (their helmets would have big wide sideburns on them) (Sid Millson) 6: Nasville Banjoes (Chris Crowder) 5: Nashville Down-and-out-country-music-singer/waiters (Eric Choate) 4: Tennessee TVA Towers (David Morris) 3: Lamar! (Josh Brewer) 2: "Money" Stealers (David Guy) 1: Soon-to-be-Seattle Oilers (Eric Choate) ****************************************************************************** Olympic volleyball fan and New Mexico resident Wade Miller recently tried to order Olympic tickets by phone, but found out operators for the '96 Games were "geographically impaired," according to the ATLANTA CONSTITUTION. After telling the operator he was from New Mexico, Miller was put on hold. The operator then came back and said she couldn't sell tickets to someone who lives outside the country. Miller spent half an hour trying to convince the agent that New Mexico is a state. She then transferred him to her supervisor who responded, "Sir, New Mexico, old Mexico, it doesn't matter. I understand it's a territory, but you still have to go through your nation's Olympic committee." ACOG officials said the incident was a one-time occurrence (Lyle Harris, ATLANTA CONSTITUTION, 2/2) In Kentucky, Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. In South Carolina, A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. In Indiana, A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter. In England, A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does-- backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag. In Arizona, A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail. In Texas, A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a *forged* check. He got 10 years. (Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask. (Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.) (Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ... In Virginia, Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it. (Location Unknown): A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got was $15. This Week's Obscure Word: BAILIWICK The office or jurisdiction of a bailiff When a car belonging to the British Royal Family's protection squad was stolen, police weren't worried too much about the car. It was the keys to Windsor Castle they were concerned with. And the score of security passes. And a policeman's uniform. And the telephone numbers of all the lines in Buckingham Palace. "It was an act of extreme stupidity to have left these things in the car," a police spokesman said. Roscoe Crawford of Jonesboro, Ga., came home from church with his wife to find that a bird had flown into his daughter's bedroom. He tried to get it out, but the bird "attacked" him. So he went and got his 9mm pistol and shot the bird dead. But the bullet didn't stop there. It went through the wall, through the dining room and into the kitchen, where Crawford's wife Rita was doing the dishes. It skipped off the top of her head, causing minor injury, then headed outside. Police did not charge Crawford with any crime, but granted his request that they take his gun away from him. Police in Walnut Park, Calif., were chasing a car when one of the occupants started throwing out handfuls of white powder. As the cops closed in, the volume went up, until a cardboard box full of powder was tossed overboard. After four blocks, the car was stopped and the two occupants arrested on investigation of dealing cocaine. Police and streetsweepers gathered up more than two pounds of the powder as evidence. When the Ku Klux Klan burned a cross in Modesto, Calif., local police said they couldn't do anything because it was done on the private property of the Imperial Wizard. But the San Joaquin Valley Unified Air Pollution Control District says it can do something: it plans to file court papers asking for a $50,000 fine from the Klan for polluting the air, plus an injunction against future cross burnings. "They are doing it as a get-in-our-face kind of thing," a pollution control attorney said, adding that only agricultural materials can be burned, not crosses. "168 Goats Roam L.A. Freeway" -- AP headline. "168 Goats Killed In Accident" -- AP headline, two minutes later. Have a safe spring break, Brent