To:	
Subj:	HOLIDAYS OF DEC 10 - JAN 6
HERE ARE THE HOLIDAYS OF DECEMBER 6 - JANUARY 13: (and there are a bunch)
SUN DEC 10:Wyoming Day
	   Human Rights Day
	   Popular Movement for the Liberation of Angola
	   Thai Constitution Day
MON DEC 11:Old St. Andrews Day
	   Upper Volta National Holiday
TUE DEC 12:Kenya Independence Day 
	   Festival of our Lady of Guadalupe (Mexico)
	   St. Spyridan
WED DEC 13:St. Lucia's Day
	   Malta Independence Day
	   Tandem Day
	   Soot Sweeping Day (Japan)
FRI DEC 15:Bill of Rights Day
	   Statute Day (Netherland Antilles)
SAT DEC 16:National Day of Bahrain
	   Victory Day (Bangladesh)
	   Day of the Covenant (Namibia)
	   Constitution Day (Nepal)
	   Underdog Day
	   Day of the Vow (South Africa)
SUN DEC 17:Wright Brothers Day
	   Bhutan National Day
	   Bolivar Day (Venezuela)
MON DEC 18:Niger National Day
TUE DEC 19:St. Ignacius
THR DEC 21:Forefathers Day
	   Roman New Year
	   St. Thomas (Holland)
FRI DEC 22:Electric Power Workers Day (USSR)
	   Toji (Japan)
SAT DEC 23:St. Naum's Day
SUN DEC 24:Christmas Eve
	   Kit Carson Day
	   Adamad Eve Day (Hungary)
MON DEC 25:CHRISTMAS
	   Anniversary of the Death of Emporor Taisho (Japan)
	   Family Day (Angola)
	   Birthday of Quaid-es-Azam (Pakistan)
	   Taiwan Constitution Day
TUE DEC 26:Boxing Day
	   Day of Good Will (South Africa)
WED DEC 27:Zimbabwe Public Holiday
THR DEC 28:Nepal National Day
	   All Fools Day (Mexico)
	   Holy Innocents Day
FRI DEC 29:Costa Rica Public Holiday
SAT DEC 30:Rizal Day (Phillipines)
SUN DEC 31:Grand Last Day (Japan)
	   New Years Eve
	   Ano Viejo - old year (Ecuador)
	   Annendale Tar Barrels (UK)
	   Feed Yourself Day (Benin)
	   Foreign Troops Evacuation Day (Lebanon)
	   Hogmanay Day (Scotland)
MON JAN 1:NEW YEARS DAY
	  Cuba Independence Day
	  Haiti Independence Day
	  Sudan Independence Day
	  Emancipation Day
	  Bank Holiday (Somalia)
TUE JAN 2:Ancestors Day (Haiti)
	  Beginning of Work (Japan)
	  Barchtold's Day (Switzerlamd)
WED JAN 3:Genshi-Sai
	  Revolution Day (Upper Volta)
THR JAN 4:Feast of St. Titus
	  Trivia Day
SAT JAN 6:La Befana
	  Three Kings Day
	  Epiphany
	  Blessing of the Sponge Divers at Tapon Springs, Florida
	  Army Day (Iraq)
Birthdays over the Holidays:
Joe Beard 		December 10
Matthew McInteer	December 12
Brent Moore	  	January   1
********************************************************************
THIS WEEK'S TRIVIA QUESTION:
	How many lemons does the average lemon tree yeild per year?
LAST WEEK'S TRIVIA:
	What distance can the average healthy slug cover in a day?
	ANSWER:50 yards.  Slug races are generally held on a 1-yard course.
	WINNERS:Albert Thweatt, Curtis Beasley
	BEST ANSWER:David Proctor:If it's wearing "Nike Air Slugs" it can add
about 2 yards to that
********************************************************************
How Santa Knows IF you've Been Good:
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF...  "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN"
    
You better watch out,  You better not cry,
You better not pout,  I'm telling you why,
Santa Claus is tapping,  Your phone.
He's buggin your room,  He's reding your mail,
He's keeping a file  And runnin a tail
Santa Claus is tapping  Your phone
    
He hears you in the bedroom  Surveills you out of doors
And if that doesn't get the goods  Then he'll use provocateurs.
 
So you mustn't assume  That you are secure
On Christmas Eve  He'll kick in your door
Santa Claus is tapping  Your phone
********************************************************************    
In the first bowl game ever in 1902, the Stanford Cardinals trailed the
Michigan Wolverines 49-0 at halftime-and threw in the towel with eight minutes
left to play.  Whereupon the Tournament of Roses Association declared that the
next Rose Bowl would be played only when California could field a team that
wouldn't embarrass everybody.  Chariot races took the place of football until
the Rose Bowl was resumed in 1916.
Here is a look at some of the holiday traditions around the world:
  * DOSMOCHE -- TIBETAN CELEBRATION OF THE DYING YEAR *
Lasting five days, this festival centers around a magical pole covered with
stars, crosses, and pentagrams made of string. Dancers dress up in hideous masks
to frighten away the evil spirits for the coming year. Feasting and prayers
fill the days and the finale is when the pole is torn down by the townsfolk.
  * LA BEFANA -- ITALY'S SANTA CLAUS *
La Befana, a kindly witch, rides a broomstick down the chimney to deliver toys
into the stockings of Italian children. The legends say that Befana was
sweeping her floors when the three Wise Men stopped and asked her to come to
see the Baby Jesus. "No," she said, "I am too busy." Later, she changed her
mind but it was too late. So, to this day, she goes out on Christmas Eve
searching for the Holy Child, leaving gifts for the "holy child" in each
household.
  * BUTTER SCULPTURE FESTIVAL -- BUDDHIST NEW YEAR *
To celebrate the New Year in Tibet, Buddhist monks create elaborate yak-butter
sculptures depicting a different story or fable each year. The sculptures
reach 30 feet high and are lit with special butter lamps. Awards are given for
the best butter sculptures.
  * CHAOMOS -- PAKISTAN WINTER SOLSTICE *
The ancient traditions of Pakistan pre-date the Christian era. During winter
solstice, an ancient demigod returns to collect prayers and deliver them to
Dezao, the supreme being. During this celebrations women and girls are purified
by taking ritual baths. The men pour water over their heads while they hold up
bread. Then the men and boys are purified with water and must not sit on chairs
until evening when goat's blood is sprinkled on their faces. Following this
purification, a great festival begins, with singing, dancing, bonfires, and
feasting on goat tripe and other delicacies.
  * WASSAILING THE APPLE TREES *
This humorous tradition was documented in 1851 in a London Newspaper. In
Devonshire, England, on Twelfth Night (January 7), the farmers get their
weapons and go to their apple orchard. Selecting the oldest tree, they form a
circle and chant:
   Here's to thee, old apple tree
   Whence thou mayst bud and whence thou mayst blow
   And whence thou mayst bear apples enow:
   Hats full, caps full,
   Bushels, bushels, sacks full,
   And my pockets full too!
   Huzza! Huzza!
The men drink cider, make merry, and fire their weapons (charged only with
powder) at the tree. They return to the home and are denied entrance no matter
what the weather by the women indoors. When one of the men guesses the name of
the roast that is being prepared for them, all are let in. The one who guessed
the roast is named "King for the Evening" and presides over the party until
the wee hours.
  * NIGHT OF THE RADISHES *
This unusual event takes place in Oaxaca, Mexico on December 23 each year. It
dates to the mid-ninteenth century and commemorates the introduction of the
radish by the Spanish colonists. Radishes in this region grow to the size of
yams but are not the rounded shape we usually see. They are twisted and and
distorted by growing in the rocky soil. These unusual shapes are exploited as
local artisans carve them into elaborate scenes from the Bible, from history,
and from the Aztec legends. Cash prizes are awarded and the evening culminates
with a spectacular fireworks display.
An additional message is sent with this one containing some elaborate ASCII art
with a christmas theme.
						Feliz Navidad,
						Brent
Announcement from Shawn Vester: smvest1@pop.uky.edu
Anyone interested in becoming a member of the Tripod Website, please e-mail me
your name and e-mail address.  Tripod is directed at college students and is
a very helpful service.  It is also absolutely free of charge!  There is no
catch, people can try it and if they decide they don't like it, it is not a big
deal.  I'll send a really cool sticker with our website address to anyone
wishing to become a member.
*******************************************************************************
                Major Layoff Announcement          11/27/95   9:11 AM
Seasons Greetings
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take
the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of
concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other
restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North
Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business.
Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished
Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further
erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a
late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip.  Improved
productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard
Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no
discernible loss of service.  Reduction in reindeer will also lessen
airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been
cited and received unfavorable press.
I am pleased to inform you and yours that Rudolph's role will not be
disturbed.  Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole.
Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier
leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold, but from
substance abuse.  Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and
never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made
by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of year
when he is known to be under executive stress.
As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the
North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps.
Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take
place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:
The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to
be the cash crop forecasted.  It will be replaced by a plastic hanging
plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.
The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost
effective.  In addition, their romance during working hours could not
be condoned.  The positions are therefore eliminated.
[The three French hens will remain intact.  After all, everyone loves
the French.]
The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail
system, with a call waiting option.  An analysis is underway to
determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they
talked.
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors.
Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative
implications for institutional investors.  Diversification into other
precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks
appear to be in order.
The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be
afforded.  It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg
per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity.  Three
geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by
personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets
will be a good one.
The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better
times.  The function is primarily decorative.  Mechanical swans are on
order.  The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes
and therefore enhance their outplacement.
As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy
scrutiny by the EEOC.  A male/female balance in the workforce is being
sought.  The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no
upward mobility.  Automation of the process may permit the maids to
try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.
Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number.  This function will
be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the
steps.
Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill.  The high cost of Lords plus the
expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation
Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work
congressmen.  While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the
savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed
congressmen this year.
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of
the band getting too big.  A substitution with a string quartet, a
cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will
drop right down to the bottom line.
We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl,
animals and other expenses.  Though incomplete, studies indicate that
stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.  If we can drop
ship in one day, service levels will be improved.
Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking
expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing")
action is pending.
Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be
necessary in the future to stay competitive.  Should that happen, the
Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to
see if seven dwarfs is the right number.